I’m back… for now…

Hello again, world.  How’s it been?  You’re probably wondering where the hell I’ve been the last few years.  Or not.  It’s ok.  I get it.  Suffice to say, life got busy.  Work got reeeeeeeeeeeeediculously busy.  And to be honest, I completely forgot I had started this blog.  It wasn’t until an email popped up in my incredibly cluttered inbox from WordPress saying “hey, we locked your account to your blog” that I remembered.  So tonight I hopped back on, reread the “prolific” number of posts I had made, and figured “what the heck… let’s give it another go”.

So, to catch everybody up…  still single.  Haven’t really tried, to be honest.  There is still one lady friend I go out and do things with from time to time (when she isn’t dating someone), but I think I am perma-friend-zoned.

My oldest graduated high school, and is in his 2nd year of college.  Thankfully, he has enough in scholarships that he is going to school free of charge.  My youngest is in his 2nd year of high school, and just nailed a 32 on his ACT, pretty much guaranteeing he will go to college free of charge as well.  Simply put, I am a proud and happy father.

A lot has happened in the world since last we “chatted”.  Future posts will be covering some of that.

You know, assuming I can stick with it this time around.

In the meantime, here’s a video I came across today on Facebook.  A lady talks about what it was like being a single mom and dating again.  Enjoy.

Themed Accelerators as a Growth Engine

There are business accelerators… and then there are business accelerators. And in this case, there are themed accelerators: accelerators that focus on a specific industry. This article from CNN Money highlights 9 accelerators, each devoted to a specific industry. I particularly like the pairing of a themed accelerator in a city known for the industry in which the accelerator is specialized in, such as the SURGE Accelerator, an Energy industry outfit based in Houston, Texas.

http://money.cnn.com/gallery/smallbusiness/2014/01/15/startup-accelerators/index.html?iid=HP_Highlight

Until next time…

Brian

An economic resurgence in the near future?

I figure if I am going to have a blog about economic development, entrepreneurship, and the like, it might help if I actually WRITE about that stuff from time to time. Until now, I’ve written only about my trials and tribulations of being a widower. Hopefully, this post will be a first step to changing that.

So…. is there an economic resurgence in the near future in the United States? I think there is. There are so many factors that seem to be pointing that way that I think it is only a matter of time before the US economy hits a tipping point and just takes off. Below are just a few of these factors.

1) Onshoring
You’ve heard of offshoring… the process by which American manufacturing jobs transfer overseas where labor costs are incredibly cheap (i.e. – China). Onshoring refers to some of those jobs coming back to the US. Various factors are leading American companies to bring manufacturing jobs back home, such as the high cost of transporting finished goods from foreign countries, rising labor costs in foreign countries, and product quality / safety issues in certain foreign-made goods. For example, did you know no smartphone has ever been manufactured in the US until Motorola opened a plant in Texas in 2013? A manufacturing rebirth can only mean good news for the US economy.
http://www.informationweek.com/mobile/mobile-devices/motorola-touts-made-in-usa-smartphone-plant/d/d-id/1111493?

2) Entrepreneurship on the rise
A recent study by The Global Entrepreneurship Monitor states that participation in entrepreneurship in America is the highest it has been in 15 years. The study says that at least 13% of American adults are involved in some form of entrepreneurship. The article linked below, however, does not offer reasons as to WHY the rate has risen so high. I have my suspicions, but I will save that for another post (maybe). Suffice to say, I don’t think it is all due to ABC’s “Shark Tank”.
http://news.yahoo.com/career-thats-growing-popularity-entrepreneurship-102358579.html

3) Crowdfunding
In that article above on entrepreneurship, it listed a limiting factor to entrepreneurs as having access to adequate start-up funds. Due to the Great Recession of the last few years, banks have been very reluctant to loosen the purse strings to any but the most credit worthy of individuals. But where there’s a will, there’s a way. Crowdfunding sites, such as Kickstarter, have popped up to allow entrepreneurs to take their case straight to the general public. Present your product or business idea, set your funding goal, promise a sample or other goodies to prospective donors, and then sit back and watch the donations roll in. A host of start-ups that might not have gotten off the ground due to frozen credit markets now had a chance to prove themselves, and to contribute to the American economy.
http://www.kickstarter.com/

4) Universities got it going on
Universities have always housed research programs, which begat new ideas, new technologies, etc. Which begat new patents. Which in some cases begat new businesses. Lately, though, it seems as if universities have stepped up their game. The process from idea to business has matured. Universities still have robust research programs. But now, schools sport a formal patenting process, business plan competitions, knowledge transfer, business incubators, business accelerators, partnerships with local industries, mentoring by seasoned executives, access to venture capital funds, and on and on and on. The number of high-quality start-ups coming out of our colleges and universities is increasing, and due to the support system in place, a higher percentage of these start-ups are bound to succeed, thus having an increasingly positive impact on the American economy.

It’s an exciting time to be an entrepreneur. It’s an exciting time to be in economic development. Barring another war or recession, it seems to me that the stars are aligning for an American economic renaissance. Only time will tell.

Until next time…

Brian

To love… and lose… again…

One of the benefits of the internet is that it allows us to search out and converse with like-minded individuals or people who have walked similar paths in life. This is just as much true for widows and widowers as anyone else. Several months ago, I came across a website (www.ywbb.org) that was a gathering place for people who had lost their spouse before their time. I met and chatted with several people, from those who had just lost a spouse as I had, to others who had moved on and had found love again.

Finding love again… that is a nice thought. To be able to have not one but two soul mates. Unfortunately, finding love again comes with a risk: potentially losing the love of your life twice.

One of the acquaintances I had met on ywbb.org had moved on. Four years ago, she had met her second love, himself a widower. She picked up from her East coast home, moved to Kansas, to live happily ever after with her second love. Sadly, her ever after ended yesterday. This past weekend, while she was travelling back home on the East coast, her second love had passed away in his sleep back in Kansas.

For those of you who have not lost a spouse, it would be very hard for me to adequately put into words the pain that one feels. The loss of your soul mate permeates through every part of your life. As cliché as it sounds, the pain is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. To have it happen twice, though… I simply cannot fathom having to deal with that pain a second time. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the thought of going through that again made me wonder if I should ever remarry. That said, I know if God blesses me with a second love, I will take that chance, knowing the risk.

If you would, please say a prayer for my friend, and ask God to help her pick up the pieces of her shattered heart.

Until next time…

Brian

Pennies from Heaven

Hello again. Long time, no blog. I will try to do better, I promise.

What are “pennies from Heaven”, you may be wondering. According to my various wid friends, pennies from Heaven can be any little thing that randomly pops up in one’s life that you consider a sign from a loved one who has passed on. It could literally be pennies (or nickels or dimes) that pop up in strange places. Or maybe it is an item that is never where you last left it (car keys, a picture, etc). It could be butterflies or shooting stars…. anything that will make you think “my loved one is looking down on me”.

This past Christmas, I came across a very special penny. During her senior year in high school, my late wife had to do a poetry project for her English class. The project had to be all original poems, and she had to also illustrate the poems as well. Since the project contained all original poetry and artwork, my wife decided to hold on to it all these years. Now mind you, in all these years, I never read any of it. That is, until this past Christmas, roughly 20 months after my wife’s passing.

If I’m being honest, hardly any of the poems struck me as Maya Angelou-esque. Then again, my idea of a good poem starts with “Roses are red…”. Be that as it may, the very last page of the project contained the poem shown in the photo attached. Hopefully you can read it. To say it took my breath away is an understatement. One of the most difficult things that I have had trouble dealing with as a wid is the stuff that comes at me out of nowhere, when I least expect it. This poem was a haymaker from behind that left me on my knees crying for a good 10 to 15 minutes.

Holidays are tough on us wids. Indeed, they are tough on anyone who has lost a loved one. This being just my second time through the holidays without my wife… well it was especially difficult. This poem popping up when it did, it was as if God knew I needed a sign, a little nudge… something to let me know that my wife was up there in Heaven watching over me. At least, that is the way I choose to look at it. Grief is a nasty beast, and we use whatever tools we can to tame it. These pennies from Heaven are one of those tools. They represent faith… faith in God, in Heaven, and in an afterlife where we hope to see our loved ones again.

Until next time…

Brian

Dating Again (otherwise known as “what the heck am I doing”)

Hey, look at me! I’m cranking out an average of 1 post per month. Waaaaaaay better than my expectations! So what to talk about this time? Yep, you guessed it. Yet another “wid” post.

A good friend of mine who happens to be a therapist suggested that a rule of thumb for grieving would be a month for every year you were together. She did give the caveat that you can’t really quantify grieving, and I would tend to agree with that. I’ve met several wids online during the past year, and every story is unique. Grieving periods vary widely. I’ve encountered people who started dating 2 months after the loss of their spouse, all the way up to some individuals that have yet to venture out, years after they lost their loved one. Each person, each situation, is unique.

With that said, my late wife and I were together for 18 years, and it’s now been 18 months since she passed. According to my friend’s rough theory, I am right about in that timeframe where I might be ready to move on and get serious with dating. Sad to say, that may not be the case. I actually started dating a little after 8 months. But honestly, that was born more out of a need to fill a hole, as well as a fear of being alone. I wasn’t really ready at that point, so I took a break for a few months.

About 4 months ago, I started again. This time around, it was more about meeting and getting to know new people. And I wound up getting to know 3 very different, but very wonderful ladies. The first lady I was really attracted to because she had a bit of a sassiness to her. But she also had walls that she was very reluctant to bring down. In hindsight, I’m not sure at that point in time I would have had the commitment and desire to put in the effort to get through those walls.

The second lady was a very sweet, very wonderful woman. Almost too wonderful, it seems. There was something that was holding me back from getting serious with this lady, but I couldn’t quite figure it out until later. And that was, she reminded me too much of my late wife. Her personality, her mannerisms, her hobbies… all of it reminded me, and that was something I just could not handle.

The third and final lady… well, she pretty much checked all the checkboxes on my list of what I looked for in a woman. All except one: she didn’t feel the same about me. I was firmly ensconced in the “friend zone” with her. And to be honest, I was ok with that. Because, as I looked back over the last 4 months, I realized that I still was not truly ready. I have not yet shown any desire to put in the work that a serious relationship would require. In addition to that, it just seems like that for right now, I’m emotionally unavailable. I’m pretty ambivalent about the whole idea of dating at this point. And like I said earlier, I’m ok with that.

Or, at least I think I am…

Somehow I knew it would be like this…

…and by that, I mean that I just knew I would not be able to stick to frequent posting. That’s me for you… get an idea in my head, stick to it for about a week, and then I am off to something else. Oh well, at least I came back. Right?

So I started this blog with the notion of talking about business-related issues and articles, but I cannot seem to get past the personal topics. In particular, what it is like being a widower. So I’m just going to roll with that for a while. Eventually I will get around to other stuff, but widowhood is the topic that is front and center in my life, the one that I am most intimately familiar with, unfortunately. I tell ya, it’s no walk in the park. Some days it is a challenge just to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. Other days, it is a blessing if I can go an hour without being reminded “hey… she’s gone”.

The first year after her passing… man, the pain, the mood swings, the lack of sleep, the challenge to be productive, to be “normal” again, or to find a new “normal”, rather… difficult does not begin to describe it. I spent most of the first six months marking the passage of time… one week since she passed… two weeks… three… then one month… two… three. By the 7th or 8th month, I got tired of counting, although I knew the one-year anniversary was coming up. The counting, though, just made it seem like time was going to drag on forever. I never thought I would make it to the one-year mark.

The strange part is that, since the one-year mark, my ability to tell the passage of time has eroded a bit. It’s like time stopped the day she died. Whenever I recall some past event, I almost always say “oh that happened about X years ago”, where X represents the number of years it occurred before my wife’s passing, not from the current point in time.

Anyway, that’s just one of the challenges I faced, and still do to this day. Hopefully, I will be back to share about the rest of year-one.

Until then…

Brian

On Being a Widower

Before I get to posting about business stuff, I thought I would toss out some thoughts pertaining to my life as a widower. And let me preface these thoughts with the following caveat: these are just random, off-the-top-of-my-head thoughts… no rhyme or reason to them… no purpose… just stream of consciousness type stuff here.

Being a widower sucks.

Profound, eh? Well, I’m no professional writer, and I don’t exactly have an overly creative mind that can come up with extremely poetic opening lines, so I figure straight and to the point is the way for me. But yeah, widowhood sucks. Especially when your significant other is taken before their time. All the plans, all the dreams that you had as a couple… out the door. Gone. Finito. Nothing left but a big hole in your life where someone important, someone who was a PART of you, used to reside.

The first year, understandably, was the hardest. For the first few months, I was still in shock, and I guessed that my boys were not much better. I figured the best thing for all of us was to get back into a routine as quick as possible. That, and to stay distracted, give our minds some time to heal, some time to find their footing again.

And speaking of my boys, as a parent, there is nothing more painful than to see your child hurting, and you not be able to take that pain away. To see the tears in my boys’ eyes, and to know that they wouldn’t get to grow up under the loving gaze of their mother, that was a dagger to the heart, let me tell you.

There was just so much that I experienced in that first year, that it would be impossible to catalogue it all in a single blog post. Yes, that means there will be others. However, in future posts, I will try to focus on one specific point, not the entirety of what it meant to be a widower. But maybe I will offer up some interesting business articles first before that next widower post.

Until next time…

Brian

Here’s my “Hello World” post…

Greetings and salutations.  Welcome to my blog, which will most likely die a quick and silent death.  I’ve never been much for writing.  I rarely even post anything of significance on my own Facebook wall.  And yet, here I am.  I’ve just felt the urge to put thoughts down to “page” quite a lot lately, and decided to give it a go.  We will just have to wait and see if I have any “stick-to-it-ness” for blogging. 

I guess I should start with a little about myself.  I am a widowed father of two boys, ages 15 and 11.  I lost my wife of nearly 17 years in a car accident early last year.  I’m pretty sure that, in amongst the various and sundry posts about business articles that catch my eye, I will throw in a few personal posts here and there about the life of a widower. 

I have been in the IT profession for close to 20 years now.  I’ve hopped from industry to industry, and I currently find myself working for an oil and gas exploration company.  I also do jobs on the side (web sites, custom programming, etc), and I am trying to get a Christian themed clothing brand off the ground.  I have a degree in mathematics, and I am currently pursuing an MBA.

Incidentally, I have a pretty dry and sarcastic sense of humor, and it will rear its ugly head from time to time.  If something I say rubs you the wrong way, my apologies in advance.  No harm is intended.

And with that, I will wind up this first…and possibly last…post.  (Full of optimism, aren’t I?)  Until next time…

Brian